CIO Daily

First there was racism, then stereotyping, then what Oliver Stone coined as "Placism" (from the Movie, "Any Given Sunday" quoted by Jamie Foxx's character in the movie), where each race should know their place.

Through the racism and the stereotyping that ensued, everybody started becoming categorized, and because of those dumb ass psychiatrists and the pseudo doctor psychologists, the box that everybody is categorized into is getting smaller, and even sociologists are starting to become guilty of this micro categorization of societies, groups, religions, etc. Therefore categorism is not just limited to ethnicity/race. Just look at drug addicts, criminals, people from a disadvantaged socio-economic class, sure there are some patterns (correlations), but these idiots by saying correlation does not equal causation, by putting everything into a nice, neat category is in essence are contradicting themselves by saying correlation equals causation by their categorization.

Therefore, I now coin the term "Categorism", where everything is concerned, especially how race is placed in a box. For an example of what I mean, please click HERE I don't consider this racist, I consider it racial categoricalism where Chinese people are supposed to be this way...

Example, (from my observation of living in the US):

Asians (as far as they're concerned we're all either Chinese or Japanese), anyways, we're either model students, chaste, non-sexual beings (at least for the men), skinny, effeminate (men), kung fu fighters or weaklings, for the women, sex toys or chaste or kung fu fighters, submissive.

Black people: Criminals, rappers, athletes, can sing & dance well...

These are two examples I like to use, because I was talking to my white friend the other day and he admitted that if we (Asian & Black people) didn't fit in these categories, it would be hard for him to accept an Asian person or black person that doesn't not fit these neat categorical stereotypes...

Living in South Korea now, when you say caucasians, the first thought amongst the average Korean person (my own informal survey), the categories are for men:

1. All are handsome or good looking (I try to explain that models appear in magazines because they don't look like the ordinary person, yet they don't understand).

2. All caucasian men are tall (I'm 176 cm or 5' 9 1/2"), I'm not short OK!!!

3. They're all English teachers or US soldiers (20 years ago, just US soldiers).

4. They're all rich (think about it, if you're rich would you travel over 10,000 miles for a job? I try to explain that most English teachers are here because they can't find a job where they're from with their liberal arts, history, English Lit degrees and I always say, if you're living and eating well there's no reason to emigrate...

For the women:

1. They will all get fat or they are all fat!!! I'm confused with this one... (Then again, a hot chick in any country has no reason to emigrate, don't call me a chauvanist, guys know what I'm talking about).

Yet caucasians can be outside of these categories and be accepted, even as a Kyopo (a Korean person that lived overseas), I am categorized by Korean people.

The most common questions I heard:

1. Why did you want to come to Korea?
My reponse: Lower crime rate, a homogeneous society (over 20 years of living in a heterogeneous society you want a change!), quality of life, plus living in Asia is very addicting, don't know why?

2. When will you go back to America?
Been there, done that...I'm sick of 4 seasons, if I choose to emigrate again, why do I want to go back to where I grew up? I want to go to a warm weather country, wanna leave behind the cold!!!! This people definitely cannot understand, so my response is America is not the world, there's Europe (which I would rather live in, knowing what I know now), Africa, SE Asia, Central Asia, South America, etc etc etc why limit yourself?

The most common misconceptions of Kyopos (Koreans that lived or grew up overseas):

1. We're all super rich.
2. We all went to great colleges/universities.
3. We all study hard.
4. The world is our oyster.

So, being a Kyopo, if you're not rich and did not go to a great college, people disperse away from you like ( fill in analogy here)...

Just my new theory, perhaps one day it may be published, LOL upon further research. 

Based on my observation of "high self esteem" people, they have high self esteem as a result of who they compare themselves to.  For example, I had a Kyopo friend who was cocky bordering on arrogant, upon further observatioin, he would always surround himself with people whom he considered to be less intelligent than him, so he could be the smartest guy in the room.  How narcissistic is that? Another dumb ass comment he made was that it was hard to find a job in which I replied, "I never, ever had a hard time finding a job."  When he learned which college I went to, in a demeaning way, he's like, "Eh, it's alright."  He graduated from UCLA, I was impressed until later, I found out he was a friggin Sociology major!  If I knew his major then, I would have said "Of course, you can't get a damn job with a Sociology major", these are the same jerkoffs that come to KR & JP and teach English cuz they can't find a job that pays equally as well back home from the "No career majors."  And these same people have very "High Self Esteem", and they are not in short supply either. 

Another group of jerkoffs are the English students who can speak a little English, they brag in front of their friends how good their English ability is and these same jerkoffs tell me to speak English to them when I try to speak Korean.  After I oblige and patronize them by purposely speaking super difficult English to them along with some street slang, I did them a Public Service by making them realize how much more they have to learn, and these douchebags hate on me for this when they should be licking my ass and thanking me, oops I forgot this high self esteem jerkoff can no longer brag in front of his/her friends with the same conviction before they met me and I put their ass on check.  So one of the freight forwarders I'm dealing with, our relationship started out that way, now we speaking Korean 90%.  Another supplier though is a funny case, he won't take my calls anymore, he looks at the Caller ID and sees if it's me won't pick up the phone.  I always say these jerkoffs that can't speak the language as good as they think they can GET YOU KILLED!  They can mistranslate something and get you into a lot of trouble.  I punched a dude in the face and some translator was there and he was HORRIBLE, he could have sent me to jail.  Then he had the nerves to get angry at me for me wanting to confirm every word he was translating, saying it was mendo kusai, I told his sorry ass, it's my ass on the line not yours plus you're getting paid by my tax dollars so earn your damn money.  This guy also told me he was a pre-law major at a US university, yet I knew more about the law I did as an amateur Law hobbyist!!!  Go figure.  Many people that have very low self esteem I know about anything, always work harder and want to hang out with people smarter than them so they can get better.  When you have high self esteem and you THINK you're already good I guess there's no more room to improve.  I'll finally close with one of my entertainment idol Howard Stern, he has a very low self esteem and that low self esteem drove him to work hard at his craft and now he's the highest paid radio personality in the history of radio.

I'm for supporting people, giving them moral support, etc.  I am not for cultivatig self esteem because it's over rated.  Our parents & siblings tried their best by curtailing our expectations.  Our siblings also have the job & responsibility of putting us in our place before we get too big headed, or our friends always kept us in check, yet with the proliferation of the single child homes and sit in front of the computer all the day culture, these social skills are not being executed so you have people who derive their sense of accomplishment based on how good they are on WOW or Starcraft.  FYI:  This does not translate to real life!  Let's not re-invent the wheel people.  Most of the times, what worked for centuries is the best way.

I grew up in three different cultures, born in KR, spent the first 7 years of my life in JP, and the majority of my life in the US and the last so many years in the motherland.  Many Korean people I meet tell me I don't think like a Korean bullcrap, I then turn around and say, hey my parents are Korean and compared to how they taught me YOU DON"T THINK LIKE A REAL KOREAN.  So, to many douchebag, wish they could speak English like me, had my experience of living in the US Koreans, I'm too American.  Yet to the Kyopos (Korean Americans), I'm too Korean or I'm a pseudo-Korean.  Case in point, I knew this hyeong (older dude), he would always say I'm a pseudo Korean cuz I can't speak Korean well, yet he's the one who refers to himself as "Daniel", I never, ever referred to myself with a "Christianized" name!  He didn't go to the army which is requried of all Korean males, I did, yet I'm the pseudo Korean?  Amongst my own people I don't fit in because I hate how Kyopos think they're better than Koreans who didn't live overseas or can't speak English.  i have news for them, when you speak English, you speak with an Asian rhythm this is why you always try to make me feel bad by saying "You talk like a white boy" comment...Can't fit in with my own people, oi vay...Having grown up in Japan at my most impressionable age, I learned to love the samurai culture, yet Westerners or outsiders don't get it when they talk about the samurai way.  Kevin Costner in the Bodyguard said he likes the Samurai because he has no fear of death, that's so shallow, anyways I talk about it in Episode 3, sorry not trying to be a plug machine...yet because I'm not Japanese, I don't quite fit in (although I'm Asian) and in the US, despite the fact I can speak English like a "white boy", I never fit in cuz I wasn't white, my family also emigrated to the US prior to the Korean immigration explosion, when that time came, I didn't know how to act with Asian people, let alone my own people.  I consider myself patriotic, not nationalistic.  What do you mean by this, you ask?  Patriotic means you love your country, will fight and die for you country, whereas nationalists only see their country, buy prodcuts only produced by their country, refuses to see the bad in their country, and many nationalists mistake my patriotism for nationalism.  So cosmically, I guess you can say my time was all screwed up.  Here's an example of racism I experienced in my high school drama class.  We had to do a skit, some girl dresses up in a bath robe and pretends to be a slob, the drama teacher raves about what a great job she did, so I dressed up in drag (not a pretty sight) she gave me a C+ for my efforts.  Hey, it takes a lot more cajones for a man to dress in drag than for a chick to wear a bath robe and act like a slob!  This taught me a very valuable lesson:  If I were white I would have gotten an A+.  

Living in Korea, I have two problems, because of my Korean pronunciation, they think I'm a foreigner (meaning Chinese), when they find out I'm a kyopo then they either hate on me or want to ask me a million questions or have free English practice with me!  The ones who hate on me are hilarious, although they hate on me, they try to send their kids to US, Canada, New Zealand, Australia or Malaysia or the Phillipines to learn English, thus they're hypocrites!  Another bunch I run into are the ones who want free English lessons or practice, this is why I stopped seeing my extended family, it really became a burden when they all asked me to teach them English, I was tutor during the army, you think after I come home after military duty, teaching punk kids English which I'm getting paid for, I would want to teach English for FREE!  Because of my lack of Korean ability, I miss out on a lot of parties, or the party starts after I leave and when I hang out with kyopos, they talk like dumb asses and I just can't relate to them because of what they consider important to them.  I don't care about bragging about being able to speak English, a billion people on this planet can speak the language therefore I'm one in a billion that can do something, not that special or unique, we were just fortunate enough to be in a position where we're able to learn the language based on access to education or goegraphical location.  The fact I'm semi-billingual, doesn't mean squat either because I know Europeans that can speak 7 languages, so all these things people are so arrogant about, I'm not about it cuz  I always look up for my standard of what is the best instead of looking down and THINKING AND BELIEVING I'm the best.  Plus they're into all their brand name items, I don't care how famous a brand is, I care about whether it looks good and feels good and serves the function I want it to serve.  If you're so into brand names and being cool, buy a Damn Mac!  I even had an argument from my kyopo friend from the suburbs of LA, he said the Mac is a superior computer on every level, but e won't get one.  You see the logic here?  

This point brings me to my next point.  I love tech, I'm a wannabe tech geek, tech otaku, tech maniac, whatever label you want to put on it.  Yet tech geeks are anti-weightlifting, anti-SiriusXM, anti-Howard Stern, anti-sports, all the things I also love.  I don't fit in their world because I don't love tech gear just because it's tech gear.  I love tech gear for its functionality for the average person, iPhone vs. Android.  I tried to give my friends technical support on their damn Android phones, whoever said that the Android platform is SO OPEN, is a liar.  First of all every carrier puts all sorts of crapware on the phones, so that if you want to buy music, apps or ringtones, you can only get it from their universe.  I tried to hook up one of the kids that works with me's phone (Samsung Galaxy S) to the Google Android App Marketplace.  No dice because the carrier has to allow the device to be attached to the gmail account.  I meet techies, because I'm buff and am not a vegetarian, I prefer shots of Jack Daniels to sips of beer, I'm even an outcast amongst them!

The hardest thing for me to do is meet people I would like to have a long term relationship with, male or female, but you guys know how I feel about male/female relationships, just list to Episode 7 of my podcast, but I digress, I say I love going out and meeting new people, actually it's a very anxiety ridden experience for me.  First thought in my mind, will people like me?  How much charm do I have to turn on?  Will I say something stupid or do something stupid?  So, for me, going out is a really painfully agonizing process for me.  When I meet peeps who I think are cool, turn out to be rather lame or too shallow or mornonic or fill in the blank.  I might meet someone that's way too far to the right or left politically, or I might meet super pretentious people, who think they're greater than they think they are.  I remember meeting suburb jerkoffs claiming they're from the nearest city.  If you can't be honest about where you're from (or ashamed or lack pride) then what else are you not telling me?  The biggest hurdle I run into is meeting hypocrites.  I understand in the Christian context we all sin and fall short of the glory of God.  Please don't be preaching to everybody saying this is the way to salvation while you're paying for call girls, hookers, or having homosexual relations or whatever and presenting this family man image.  I'd rather hang out with an honest thief or racist than a holier than thou religious person any day of the week!  Despite the fact I hate meeting people I do it because it's all a numbers game, the more people you meet the higher liklihood you will meet someone you can have a long term relationship with, whether it's offline, Twitter, Facebook, etc. or as one dude once told me get in where you fit in.

I grew up in 3 worlds, yet I'm part of none of them.  

I'm really upset about this because there are male rituals, aka rites of passage that we as men have to go through.  Hazing is one of them.  If you play football, the new players (rookies or freshmen) have to carry the veteran's bags, in baseball rookies have to dress up in drag, in military basic training, there are many hazing rituals.  There is a difference between bullying and hazing.  Bullying is a douchebag move by a bigger guy or an insecure guy with a small ding dong that picks on a weak person just because they're weak.  Hazing is a commonly shared bonding experience that has been passed down from generations amongst males.  This way we can meet former baseball players or football players or army guys and we have a common shared experience that we can share and discuss even though we weren't there together.  It's the hazing, the common shared experience that builds camaraderie amongst men.  As we get older, it's not the hazing that we miss, it was the camaraderie that was shared we miss.  It wasn't the grueling practices, where it was so grueling sometimes, we would puke our lunch in the trash can after practice.  It's the common shared experience that we can share with the fellas that came before us or after us.  

With the explosioin of single child homes, especially in Seoul in the late 70s to the mid 80's, you mothers were doting on your sons and gave them too much attention instead of letting them be.  Now I see all these 20 years old who want to be skinnier than chicks and wear more makeups than chicks.  Men are supposed to hate dramas, musicals and shopping.  BUT NOOOOOOOO, you endoctrinated your boy into liking what you like because you had to have a play friend instead of allowing him to go outside hit a baseball, twist an ankle from playing soccer or basketball.  FYI:  Only men can teach a man to be a man just as only a woman can teach a woman how to be a woman.  If I were a single father of a daughter no matter how hard I try, I cannot teach her to be a woman, I can teacher her what kind of woman I would find ideal and she would try to be that woman to please me which is not fair to her, and just as mothers, stop lying to your sons and telling them what women want, most of you are miserable in your marriages and you're trying to make your son into the ideal man that you wish you had.  IT'S NOT FAIR TO HIM, if you really loved your son, you would allow him the space to grow and do the things that most normal boys do, such as playing sports, sneaking a cigarette and coughing like there's no tomorrow, drinking beer with friends at the park and puking their brains out.  Boys are supposed to get dirty on the playground, you're trying to protect your kids from germs and diseases, listen to me, I know it sounds counter intuitive, but getting dirty at the park, catching a cold here and there actually makes their immune system stronger, duhhhhh.  This is why there are so many food allergies, ailments that wasn't so prominent as long as 15 years ago.  What changed?  I was led to believe evolution takes millions of years to occur yet the human beings have evolved in less than half a generation?  Me thinks not, but I digress.

What really upsets me is what happened in the Korean army.  There were some hazing incidents, where the whole platoon would get naked, stand in formation and take a picture (of course, everybody covered their junk), this is one of the common shared experience yet one candy ass kid complained to his momma and couple of obasans/ajumas complained.  There was another instance in the winter, where some kid was missing they found him hiding in one of the bathrooms, curled next to a heater because it was cold.  ONE KID!  He may be special to you, but in the societal big picture, he's just another person.  As a result of this, there was ths blue ribbon panel and focus group on how the army should train their soldiers.  Give me a break, just as politicians shouldn't dictate how to fight a war, mothers should not dictate how the army is run.  What the hell do you think the army is?  A two year summer camp?  The whole purpose of an Army is to train soldiers, what do soldiers do?  They kill people.  That's the cold, hard reality. As a result of this, they cannot order soldiers to do more than 10 pushups in a day, they can't run more than 3 or 5 kms.  Who the hell are we kidding.  As a Korean man, I love my Korean people, I pray for reunification, but the undeniable truth of the matter is that we only have an armistice treaty with North Korea.  Do you think they're only doing 10 pushups a day?  Do you think they're only running 3 to 5 kms a day.  They're ready to kills us despite the fact they're our brothers. What is it?  Somebody else's sons should fight for the country instead of your son?  Your narcissism and selfishness is creating a bunch of selfish and narcissistic kids.  Remember parents are a reflection of their parents, they are a mirror of who you are.  I know by the way people act what kind of parents they had.  I know right away what their parents taught them or didn't teach them and you wonder why your son is not successful in life?  Why he jumps from part time job to part time job.  Stop taking your husband for granted and viewing him as the ATM.  Only men can teach men how to be a man.  By monopolizing your sons' time you have effeminized him.  To all of you who call me a sexist, why is it nowadays that many fertility clinics in Korea are sprouting up? I'll tell you why, it all goes back to you, the mothers, the last time I checked, mothers are females.  You tell your kids to study, study, study, these boys sit on their asses all day and night studying to please you, never getting sunshine, which by the way is also leading to vitamin D deficiencies but don't get me started on that, having never done any physical activities, guess what they never had the opportunity to develop testosterone, yes, it's very important for me nto have it despite your hatred for it.  Low testosterone level = low sperm count, go figure, thus the fertility clinics sprouting up.  Blame yourselves.  Stop blaming everybody else, the smog in the air, bad ventilation system in the schools and buildings, stress from the army, stress from socieety, stress from academic competition.  None of these things contributed to his low testosterone level and low sperm count, you not allowing him to go outside to participate in physical activity is the only reason this happened.  And for you momma's boys, you're to blame also because you should have fought with your mothers to play outside, follow nature's calling, boys want to play sports.  Now I think about it, perhaps they have low testosterone from the beginning so they never heeded the call of the wild?  

So, what is my point in all this ranting?  For mothers, let boys be boys, let them have the same common shared experiences with other boys.  I don't hate mothers, or women.  When most people rant, 99% of the times they complain about the 10% that are the jerkoffs, if you're not the 10% you would agree with me.  It's always the 10% I talk about that hate what I say, if you're hating what I'm saying, that mean you're the 10% and stop emasculating your son.

I don't know if the actual number of jerkoffs increased or it's that the population increased therefore if there's a great number of people and if the percentage of jerkoffs is the same then there may seem to be more?  Or as I like to think, the population and the actual percentage of jerkoffs actually increased.  Then again, are they just more visible now because of YouTube, FaceBook, etc.?  If I were a  statistician, and I was studying for my masters, this would be the basis of my thesis.  Then again, who would admit to being a jerkoff or a douche?  That'll be a story or in my case, a blog post for another day, to put it simply, just do the Jeff Foxworthy formula, "You know you're a redneck, if..." just replace the "redneck" with douche...But I digress.

Back in the days, we were forced to go outside and play at the park, whether it was a game of "over the line", "smear the queer", "tag", "football", "basketball", etc.  We also had to learn how to fight regardless of the neighborhood you lived in.  This was an invaluable lesson.  Now I'm not a proponent for fighting, but I believe every boy should get in a handful of fights in his lifetime, preferably before he's in junior high school.  What does fighting and sports teach?  It teaches you limits.  It subconsciously gives you a certain understanding of life that is so lacking today.  It teaches you, you're not the toughest guy in the world, it teaches you, you're not the most interesting guy in the world, it especially teaches you what you can and can't do.  Plus back in our days, our parents were more realistic, instead of feeding us the crap, that we're the greatest, we can become anything we want.  They checked our ego.  I said I want to be a pro ball player.  Our parents would say, when you make the varsity baseball team at your school, then talk that crap.  When I made the varsity squad, then it was, when major league scouts come to see you, then talk that crap.  Nowadays I see parents telling their kids that doesn't have an iota of athletic ability they can become a pro athlete if they want to.  Parents, you're supposed to be their parents not their cheerleaders, that's what friends are for.  Be a parent to your not living in reality, narcissistic, dense, no sense having kids.  Because when you don't, they think they can step to me and kick my ass.  The last time I checked, boxing, wrestling, MMA fights, all have a weight class, hell, even amateur bodybuilding has weight classes.

Know thyself, know yourself, was attributed to a couple of philosophers, some Greek dude named Pausanias and Sun Tzu I'm sick of the Euro-centric view that they created everything, so I had to give credit to the Asian brotha!  This is probably the best and simplest advice over the millennia.  Yet it is the hardest advice to follow.  If you know yourself, you wouldn't fall prey to addiction, and other self destructive behaviors.  I suggest you read my BS Diagnosis made by the psych industry rant.

I know many of you are saying, Joon, just let them be!  Leave them alone.  Live and let live, yadda yadda.  I don't care what people do and I do leave people alone and stay quiet unless it affects me, my space and my life.  How do these delusional people affect me, my space and my life, you ask?  Very simple, let's look at the wanna be western Asian folks, they try so hard to show white folks we're the same, they look like jackasses doing it and they think they're fitting in, but the white folks are laughing at you behind your back.  This affects my life, because whenever certain white folks meet me, they think I'm the same jackass as you are so they put me on your level, so it affect me and my life.  All you wanna be effeminate Asian girly men, once again, this affect me and my life, how?  People look at you and when I meet the aforementioned people, they put me on the same level as you thinking I'm the same girly man as you.  But all this is neither here nor there.  

My biggest pet peeves are, jerkoffs regardless of race, creed, ethnicity, etc. These are the people that think they're funnier than they really are cuz their mommas told them they're a comedian.  These are the people who think they're so interesting and fascinating when they aren't cuz their mommas told them so or because their mommas didn't give them enough attention and that's how they entertained themselves, I don't know.  For example, these idiots' podcast 폭탕영어 they took the most fascinating subject: LESBIANS and PUT ME TO SLEEP AFTER 5 MINUTES!  First of all, the hosts were obese people therefore they put their life issues in the interview instead of listening to her.  The woman said she had a boyfriend and they're still friends, and she said SHE MADE THE CHOICE TO BE LESBIAN!  Instead of jumping on this and following up on this, they were talking about how much jocks would sex play with other guys when they're drunk or how much they were bullied by jocks, etc.  If I was doing the interview I would have said, "OK, what kind of guy will it take for you to go back to men?", then my follow up question would be, "Can I submit my resume?"  Just because you have a laptop and a microphone doesn't make you a broadcaster, and a good one at that.  Interviewing somebody is not that easy, the good ones make it LOOK EASY.  For example, my 형 told me to do deadlifts quietly and I told him, do ONE and I'll do it his way and if he can't, to shut the hell up.  Look at the video below.

 As a result, he couldn't even do ONE.  Then he started hating on me saying no matter how strong I get in the gym, I'll never be as big as Ronnie Coleman.  He was trying to hurt my feelings?  There are pro bodybuilders despite taking steroids aren't as big as Ronnie, this is why he is a 8 time Mr. Olympia. My point being, when anybody is good at something, they make it look easy. So these idiots took a fascinating topic and made it a borefest.  And from listening to that podcast, they did no research whatsoever!  I would have watched a couple of lesbian pornos and asked her, do they do it the same way as in movies or is it like all things on the screen, what you see is not real life?  It may sound perverted and you may call me a pervert, yet this is the same question you want to ask, but are you shy or morally uptight to ask.

Don't get me wrong, I love the internet!  10 years ago, I had the present day vision of what the internet could be way back then, I saw the potential of the Yahoo Groups, Friendster (this was the Facebook of its day), I started my own record label based on this vision, it didn't work, you know what they say, if you're too fast, it's not good, and if you're too slow, it's not good.  Anyways, let's fast forward to NOW.  there's YouTube, Vimeo, blip.tv, etc. This allows anyone with a webcam or a video camera to upload their contents to the internet regardless of talent.  Being good looking or hot like Megan Fox doesn't qualify you as being interesting! 

Some of the talented or interesting contents I found on YouTube, for example, don't let the name fool you, but Fluffy Starr, I know it sounds gay but her music rocks.  One of the funnier and cuter content I discovered was Chad Vader from Blame Society Films. they have interesting contents there. so mad props to y'all. They are the reason contents site are worthwhile, whereas, for every Fluffy Starr, there are thousands of thousands of girls singing in front of webcams thinking they're the next Arnel Pineda (the current lead singer of Journey).  You people know what I'm talking about.  If a hot chick is singing and she's terrible, people write kind comments.  If the chick is ordinary or homely looking, the comments are not so kind.  Even when I go to the 노래방 (Karaoke), you have people with a couple of shots of soju or few glasses of beer in them, they think they're great singers.  I know I can't sing so I don't go to the Karaoke, and if I do go, I refuse to sing despite everybody's insistence, why?  Because I know myself.  I know what I can and can't do.  These are the same people that ask me to play catch with them.  They can't throw a damn baseball!  By the time the ball gets to me I became a grandfather.  But I digress.  Why didn't someone be a true friend or a parent and tell them they can't sing?  Because they don't want to hurt their feelings?  

Another example of not knowing yourself or reality...I see guys in the gym doing endless sets of bench presses, should presses, barbell curls and skull crushers.  I admit, I'm not hatin', they look pretty good up top and up front.  Now, what's wrong with this picture?  Still don't know?  Where's the exercises for the back and legs?  These guys when they turn around, have no back muscles and they got pencil legs.  What if they get lucky with a girl and they take off their clothes and they have a bigger upper body and pencil legs, I'd be embarrassed.  How do they go to the pool, the beach?  What do they see in the mirror?  This leads to my points of cute or pretty chicks.  Don't get me wrong they look good, but the reality of how hot they think they are and how they really look are two different levels.  Being cute and pretty is cool, but hotness is unfortunately bestowed onto the very few, such as Megan Fox, 김태희 (Kim, Tae Hee) and Angelina Jolie 5 years ago.  Once again this requires knowing yourself, honestly self assessing yourself. I know I don't look like Brad Pitt, I look more like a gorilla, so I know I can't hope to get with Megan Fox unless I'm a billionaire.  If you read my Love Advice... blog, this will save you a lot of grief.  You should realistically know your level of hotness or the lack thereof.  this will save you from being those 30 & 40 year old single women that's still looking for their "Mr. Right".  At that age, your choices are widowers, divorcees or guys if you go out with them, you would be their first girlfriend.  If you know yourself, you would fight with your parents to stop sending you to juku or 학원 because you won't enter the top universities.  If you have the potential there is no need for juku or 학원, you and your friends would be motivated and push each other to do what it takes to get admitted to a good school.  Parents outside of knowing yourself also, are you really sending your kids to 학원 or juku because you think they have the potential to go to a good school or because you have free time to go to the coffee shop and gossip, go to the hair salon and gossip, and go to the gym and gossip?  Because when I see you "so-called housewives" with maids in the gym, you do some stretching for about 5 minutes and then get on the damn cell phone and tell your husband you're at the gym and are working out, and as soon as you hang up you call your other yenta (아줌마) friends and gossip.  Do you see a pattern here?

This advice is also for the girl who was the prettiest girl in her hometown or high school or wherever she's from.  Everybody tells her how pretty or beautiful she is all her life.  So she believes she looks like Megan Fox and moves to the big city whether it'd be Seoul, Tokyo, New York, Los Angeles, Bangkok, etc. the cold hard reality that there are other girls that are just as good looking if not better looking hits you devastates your world.  Most girls in this situation turn out one of three ways, they realize the reality and get a real job, the second thing that happens is they either become porno stars, strippers, call girls, party girls or an old rich dude's arm accessory and the ones with real determination become what they wanted to become whether it's an actress, dancer, singer, etc. to you I give you my mad props.

Homosexuals:  I personally don't understand the controversy when it comes to this topic.  Maybe it's because I grew up in West Hollywood and I became tolerant or maybe being a minority growing up in the US?  Who knows.  I have a very pragmatic view of gay dudes, the first view I have is that most gay dudes are hot or good looking, so it's less competition for me.  The second view I have about gay dudes; a lot of hot chicks hang out with them, so there's always hope for shrapnel, how can you be mad at that?  What I hate are the gay people who are so obviously gay that they're in the closet.  My philosophy is that if you're in the closet you're really conflicted about what you really are, and from my personal experience, the closeted gay people who knew that I knew, always screwed me over because they were afraid I would expose them.  Perhaps it was the handful that did it to me that I believe all are like that, but then again, many white people think that all Asians are good at math based on the few Asians that they've met.  What I'm saying here is that if you're true to yourself and if this is who you really are:  DAMN SOCIETY!!!  Then again, I'm a believer of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy in civilian life, well, let's take that one step further, and create a new policy, "I don't care what you are, so don't care what I am", yeah, that would be good.  If you really think about it, I don't have to announce to people I'm a hetero, so why are gay people obliged to "come out of the closet"?

This is for the wannabe tough guys.  When you're 5' 4" and 130 pounds or even 6' 1" and 155 pounds, don't walk around like you're a tough guy, the REAL tough guys laugh at you.  You have probably never been in a fight, never took a punch to the face, never played organized sports on any level yet you walk around talking a bigger game than you can deliver or as they use to say back in the days, your ego's writing checks it can't cash.  Women, here's free advice for you, if a dude talks a good game 95% of the times, he can't walk the walk.  Most guys that are good at something will be a little more understated because he compares himself to the best so he may seem less confident but he appears that way because he's comparing himself to a higher standard instead of the guy that boasts because he compares himself guys lesser than him.  I knew a guy who would purposely hang out with people less intelligent than him so he could be the smartest guy in the room.  As in my case, most of the time I KNOW I'm the smartest guy in the room most of the time, when this happens I seek smarter friends because I can't grow this way.  So for all you wannabe tough guys, you're lucky you live in Asia because unlike the US or other European countries you would get your girly man ass kicked.  Once again I want to reiterate I'm not a proponent of violence but I do believe every guy needs his ass kicked at least once in his life, this way understanding that there's the potential of violence will keep you in check and stop you from acting the fool.

Knowing yourself will save you a lifetime of misery, embarrassment, and ridicule.  Then the question begs to be asked, how do I get to know myself?  Very easy, instead of what momma thinks we can do, honestly ask yourself what you can do well.  If it's StarCraft, Lineage II, or other video or computer games then it's time to go outside and move your body, hit the gym or if you insist on being in front of a computer, learn how to edit video on Sony Vegas or Final Cut Express or Pro.  I recommend learning how to develop an iPhone app or an Android app.  This way you have the potential to make money and chicks hot as Megan Fox will step to you instead of you chasing them.  If you really think you're a good singer/actor/entertainer, etc. go to a talent management company and audition!  It's a lot easier to do in Asia than it is in Western countries.  Remember the most talented of artists never went to juku or 학원.

애인이 없어 슬프다고 하는 사람들이 많이 있지만, 사실 이건 그렇게 복잡하거나 까다로운 일이 아니다. 이건 티비, 영화, 코스모폴리탄(여성잡지), 애인 없는 사람들의 원망을 탓해야 할 일일 뿐이다. 내가 어째서 그렇게 생각하는지 이야기 하겠다. 긍정적이고 바람직하고 행복한 관계를 가진 사람들의 99%는 현실 세계에서 살고 있지만, 형편없고 불건전하고 불행한 관계를 가진 사람들의 99%는 내가 "헐리웃 랜드"라고 부르는 곳에서 살고 있다. "헐리웃 랜드"가 뭐냐고? 간단하다. 티비, 영화, 또는 잡지를 보는 사람들은 거기서 본것과 똑같은 것을 현실 세계에서 보기를 기대하는데, 난 그들의 부모가 현실을 가르치는 대신 무엇이든 가능하다고 가르친 것이 잘못 되었다고 생각한다. 정신 똑바로 차려라 -- 모든것이 가능하진 않다! 내가 아무리 미식축구와 야구를 좋아한다 해도, 내 능력의 한계를 무시하고 프로 선수가 될 수는 없지 않은가! 사랑을 찾을수는 있지만, 그러기 위해서는 긍정적이고 바람직하고 행복한 관계를 이루기 위한 방법에 대한 사고를 바꿔야 할 필요가 있다. 우선 "완벽한 사람"이 존재하지 않는다는 점을 염두에 두도록 하자.

이곳 한국에서는 친척, 친구, 지인 등의 소개에 의한 "소개팅"이란 것이 있다. 많은 사람들이 나에게 누군가를 소개해 줄 것을 부탁하고 있고, 나도 이를 마다하지는 않는다. 하지만 내가 미국에서 경험한 바에 의하면, 이것은 그다지 효과적인 방법이 아니다 -- 소개팅이 잘 되지 않았다는 이유로 화가난 친구 두 명을 잃었으니. 내 생각에 이것은 간단하고 일시적인 방책이지, 스스로의 운명에 책임을 지는 행위는 아니다. 잘 되지 않으면 소개해준 사람을 욕하고, 애인 없는 친구들과 술잔을 기울이며 신세 한탄을 하면 끝이니까.

내가 다리를 놓아주지 않다보니, 사람들은 "대체 어떻게 하면 남자/여자를 만날 수 있는겁니까?"라고 묻는다. 간단하다. 꽉 막힌 시선을 풀고, 주변에서 일어나는 일에 관심을 기울이면 되는 것이다. 이 세상 어딜 가든지 클럽이 있고, 인터넷이 쫙 퍼져있는 지금은 이를 찾아내기가 무척 쉽다. 내가 추천하는 사이트 중 하나인 meetup.com 에 등록하면 당신과 같은 도시에 살고 같은 관심사를 가진 사람들을 찾을 수 있다. 뭐? 이런건 루저나 하는 거라고? Facebook에도 그런 클럽들이 많이 있는데... 그것도 싫다고? 참나, 까다롭구만! 대학생들은 학교 내의 동아리 중에서 당신 관심사에 맞는 걸 찾으면 되겠다. 이미 졸업한 사람은 졸업생 클럽을 보면 되겠고, 대학을 졸업하지 않은 사람들을 위한 클럽들도 많이 있다. 미국에는 Learning Annex가 있고, 한국에는 싸이월드 클럽(Cyworld Clubs)이 있다. 나로썬 이 이상 무슨 말을 더 해야할지 모르겠다. 바디빌딩에는 자신의 신체 중에서 약한 곳에 중점을 두는 "Priority Principle"이란 것이 있는데, 현실에서도 이것을 적용시킬 수가 있다. 승진을 원한다면 더 많은 시간을 들여 더 열심히 일해야 되고, 좋은 인연을 원한다면 밖으로 나가 더 많은 사람들을 만나면 되는 것이다. 더 많은 사람들을 만나야 확률이 커지지 않겠는가.

일단 첫 단추는 끼웠고... "어떻게 남자/여자를 만납니까?" 다음으로 많이 듣는 질문은 "어떻게 하면 괜찮은 남자/여자를 만납니까?"라는, 무시무시하게 애매모호한 사항이다. 괜찮은 남자/여자의 기준은 셀 수 없을 정도로 다양하니 말이다. 내가 괜찮다고 생각하는 사람이 당신이 보기에도 괜찮다는 보장은 없으니, 당신이 원하는 타입에 대해 구체적으로 밝힐 필요가 있다. "키크고 잘생기고 돈 많은 사람"이라든지 "예쁘고 살림 잘하는 사람"이란 말도 안되는 소리는 하지마라. 키크고 잘생기고 돈 많은 남자를 원하는 여자들에게 묻겠다 -- 그런 사람에게 당신은 무엇을 제시할 수 있는가? 당신은 제시카 알바, 안젤리나 졸리, 또는 할리 베리를 닮았나? 거울보고 당신이 어떻게 생겼는지 똑바로 살펴봐라. 이에 대해 좀 더 얘기해 볼까? 키는 유전의 영향을 강하게 받는 거라서, 세상 어디를 가봐도 180cm가 넘는 남자의 수는 전체 인구의 아주 작은 부분을 차지할 뿐이다. 잘생긴거? 그것도 마찬가지. 그러니 키도 크고 잘 생기기까지 한 남자를 찾기란 무척 어렵다. 브래드 피트의 키가 그렇게 큰 것도 아니고, 탐 크루즈가 키 작은 남자라는 점은 다들 알고 있겠지? 이 남자들은 잘생겼지만, 키가 큰 건 아니라고!!! 키크고 잘생겼다는 진귀한 유전자에 "돈"까지 덧붙이겠다고? 부잣집 아들을 원한다는 얘긴데... 그런 조건에 다 맞는 남자가 제시카 알바나 안젤리나 졸리같이 섹시한 (그렇지만 유명하지는 않은) 여자를 만날 확률은 로또 대박맞을 확률보다 훨씬 낮다. 제발 현실을 생각하자. 혹시라도 내가 여자들한테만 이런 얘기를 하는 쓰레기 같은 놈이라고 오해할 수가 있으니, 남자들에게도 한마디 하도록 하겠다. 예쁘고 살림 잘하는 여자를 원한다고? 당신이 그런 여자에게 해줄수 있는건 뭔데? 그 정도로 섹시한 여자가 살림을 잘해야될 이유가 있나? 사실 그런 여자는 살림을 배울 필요가 없다 -- 부잣집 아들이 그녀를 데려가서는 집에 가정부를 고용하면 될 일이니까. 이미 여러번 말했다시피, 이건 현실성의 문제다. 그럼에도 불구하고 사람들이 생각을 바꾸지 않으니, 싱글인 사람들은 서른이 넘고 마흔이 넘도록 세상에 있지도 않은 사람을 찾아 헤메는거다. 어찌보면 이건 여자에게 더 힘든 일인게, 여자가 더 빨리 매력을 잃는 경향이 있기 때문이다. 남자는 나이 들어서 돈이 모여 젊(지만 그다지 똑똑하지 않)은 여자를 얻을 수도 있는데, 여자는 아무리 좋은 직업과 성형수술을 동원한다 해도 선택권이 좁아질 수 밖에 없는게 현실이다. 예쁜 여자들에게 한마디 하자면 -- 28살이 되기 전에 임자를 찾아야지, 그렇지 않으면 당신의 "가치"가 단기간 내에 현저히 떨어지게 된다.

이제 애매모호함과 현실기피에 대해 이야기를 했으니, 좀 더 구체적인 부분을 살펴보도록 하자. Joe Jackson이 노래했듯이, "무엇을 원하는지 알 때 까지 당신이 원하는 것을 얻을수는 없다."

이 노래에서 뭔가 배우기를 바란다. 당신이 무엇을 원하는지 알지도 못하면서 애매하고 비현실적인 희망만 가지고 있다면, 당신은 아무것도 얻을수 없다. 어떻게 해야 되겠냐고? "난 나를 존중하고, 내 생일과 우리 기념일을 기억해주고, 내 말에 귀기울여주고 내 곁에 있어줄 사람을 원한다"고 구체적으로 밝히자. 훨씬 낫지 않은가? 구체적인 목표를 세우는 것에서 사랑을 찾는 길이 시작된다.

이제 당신이 원하는 바를 깨달았으니 (난 당신이 지금쯤 이것을 깨달았기를 바란다), 밖으로 나가서 당신이 원하는 사람들을 만나는 방법에 대해 이야기 해보자. 아버지께서 내게 충고해주신 바에 따르면, "물고기가 있는 곳으로 가라." 무슨 말이냐고? 간단하다 -- 참치를 잡으려면 참치가 있는 곳으로 가야하고, 연어를 잡으려면 연어가 있는 곳으로 가야한다. 착한 남자를 찾으려면 교회나 절을 가봐라. 전문직 여성이 전문직 남성을 만나려면, 전문직 남성들이 있는 곳을 가면 되고, 남자가 예쁜 여자를 만나려면, 예쁜 여자들이 있는 클럽을 가면 되는거다! 나이트 클럽 말고 -- 제빵 클럽이나 재봉 클럽 같은데 말이다!!! 덧붙이자면, 성비가 당신에게 유리한 곳을 찾아가도록 하라. 여자라면 남성 회원들의 수가 훨씬 많은 곳을 찾야야 되겠지. 사이클링 클럽이나 사진 클럽처럼 커플 회원들이 많은곳은 피하도록 하자. 예쁜 여자를 찾는 남자들이라면, 살사/댄싱 클럽처럼 여자:남자 비율이 5:1쯤 되는 곳이 유리하고, 여자들에게는 야외활동 클럽처럼 남자:여자 비율이 10:1쯤 되는 곳이 유리하다. 특히나 전문직 여성들에게 야외활동 클럽처럼 장비값이 많이 드는 곳은 일석삼조의 효과를 얻을수가 있는데, 장비값을 댈 수 있을만큼 돈이 있고 그 취미를 통해 건장함을 유지할 수 있는 남자들이 잔뜩 있기 때문이다. 자, 이제 뭘 해야 되는지 알았으니, 당장 실천해보도록!

무엇보다 중요한 것은, hater의 말은 귓등으로 들어야 한다는 점이다. Hater가 누구냐고? 그건 당신의 친구일 수도, 부모일 수도, 직장 동료일 수도 있다. 왜 그들이 hater냐고? 간단하다. 일단 여자들에게 한마디 -- 당신과 당신의 절친이 둘 다 싱글이었는데, 당신은 애인을 얻어 행복한 반면에, 여전히 싱글인 친구가 샘내고 질투할 수가 있는거다. 그렇다면 당신 친구는 당신 애인의 모든 점을 흉보면서, 당신이 그와 사귀어서는 안된다고 우기겠지. 남자라고 해서 다를게 없다. 당신이 그들과 마찬가지로 불행하기를 바라는 사람들의 말 따위는 절대 듣지 말것! 그리고 애인도 없는 주제에 그 방면에 전문가라고 우기는 사람들의 말도 듣지 마라. 그들이 정말로 전문가라면, 여태 싱글일 이유가 없지 않은가. 마지막으로, 바람둥이의 말도 듣지 말도록! 만나는 사람이랑 안되면 그 다음 사람에게 가버리는 그런 사람이 진정한 인연에 대해 알 턱이 있겠는가? 세 번 이혼한 사람이 아니라, 20년간 결혼 생활을 유지한 사람의 말에 귀를 기울이라.

내가 무슨 자격이 있어서 이런 충고를 하냐고? 그렇다, 당신은 내 충고를 따를 필요가 없다. 그렇지만 많은 사람들이 이런 충고를 주었고, 난 단지 이를 단순화 시켜서 이를 따랐을 뿐이다. 나는 9년 전에 한국에 오면서 "난 근면성실하고, 어려운 일에도 나와 함께 할수가 있고, 나를 사랑하는 여자"를 원한다고 마음 먹었고, 9년이 지난 지금 그녀와 함께하고 있다. 결국 완벽한 사람이란 존재하지 않지만, 당신에게 완벽한 사람은 어딘가에 있다! 희망을 잃지말고 그 사람을 찾아 나아가라!

Here in Korea, there's a thing called the 소게팅 (So-getting) system, which is basically an introduction (or a blind date) from a relative, friend, co-worker, etc.  Many people ask me to "introduce" them to somebody, I don't mind doing it, but from my experience in the United States, if it doesn't work out, I lose two friends because they get mad at me for it not working out.  This IMHO (in my humble opinion) is the easy way out, this is not taking responsibility for your love/romantic destiny.  Because if it doesn't work out you can always blame the matchmaker and cry with your single friends over drinks that you're unlucky at love.  

Since I don't do the matchmaking or introduction thing, people ask me, "How can I meet guys or girls?"  It's very simple actually, but you can't be dense, it's as simple as keeping your ears to the ground (learn what's going on around you).  Anywhere in the world, there are clubs, and with the proliferation of the internet, these clubs are even easier to find and access.  One site I recommend is Meetup.com here you can register and find people that share the same interests in your city regardless of where you are in the world.  OK, so you think this is a loser's way?  There are many clubs and groups on Facebook, still don't want to go that route?  OK, fine, gosh you guys are so finicky!  For those of you, who are college students, join a club that you're interested in, such as the animation club, or language clubs, etc.  For those of you out of college, there are alumni clubs, for those of you that didn't graduate college then there are others clubs, in the US, there's the Learning Annex and in Korea, there are Cyworld clubs.  I don't know what else to tell you on this part.  In bodybuilding, there's a thing called a "Priority Principle", in which you put priority on your weak body parts, e.g. if your arms need to get bigger to balance your upper body, you put priority on exercising your arms, if your legs are a little thin compare to your upper body, you put more priority on your legs, etc.  So, in life, use the priority principle, such as if you want a promotion, you work harder and longer hours, and in love, you make it a priority to get yourself out there more, make a conscious decision to meet more people, remember it's a numbers game.

Now that is out of the way, the second most common question people ask me, "How can I meet a good guy/girl?"  This is the vaguest question in the world!  There are so many definitions of what a good guy/girl is.  Our definitions can vary as to what a good guy/girl means to me and you.  This is something you have to be very specific in knowing what you want.  Don't give me this crap of tall, handsome and rich or pretty and is great at cooking or housework, etc.  To the women that want a handsome, tall and rich guy, I hate to burst your bubble, but what the hell are you bringing to the table?  Do you look like Jessica Alba?  Angelina Jolie?  Halley Barry?  Better look in the mirror and really reassess what you think you really look like.  And let's break this down even further, tall (when you say tall, I know you mean 6 foot or over), this is a genetic trait, therefore any country you go to, 180 cm (6 foot or taller) guys are a small percentage of the population.  Handsome, once again, this is genetic, so to put tall and handsome together is pretty hard.  Brad Pitt is short, Tom Cruise is a midget, do you see where I'm going here, they may be good looking but THEY'RE NOT TALL.  Not you want these 2 genetic traits along with RICH?!!?  Being RICH is being born to the right family, so you're looking for a guy, if he is all these things has the choice of getting with a girl that looks like Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, etc albeit not famous, but these dudes have choices and the odds of winning the lottery is higher than you landing this guy, which brings me back to the point of LIVE IN REALITY!!!!  Now, ladies before you call me a sexist or misogynist, this is advice for the fellas!  You say you want a hot woman that's good in the kitchen and the house?  WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE TABLE?  Are you tall, handsome and rich?  What do you have to offer this girl?  Here's another secret, if a chick is that HOT, she doesn't need to be good in the kitchen, because a rich dude will snag her and they'll have a maid.  Once again, it's back to my point of LIVE IN REALITY.  Sadly, these people don't change, thus these are the same people that are single with no man or woman in their 30's and 40's still looking for the same thing they'll never find.  This is especially harder on women because I hate to say it and y'all gotta admit, women have a shorter shelf life than men.  A guy can get rich in his later years and snag a dumb 20 year dumb hottie.  A woman despite having a good job and despite the plastic surgeries, will have a lot smaller pool and this is my advice for hot chicks, get married before you're 28 years old because your market value will plunge dramatically thereafter.

Now that we got the vagueness and NOT LIVING IN REALITY out of the way.  Let's get specific.  As Joe Jackson once said in his song, "You can't get what you want til you know what you want"

Hope you learned something from this song.  so if you're vague and not realistic and not knowing what you want, you can't get it.  So how do you specify?  You specify by saying I want a good guy who will treat me right, remember my birthday, our anniversaries, someone who will listen to me and will always be there for me.  Now that's a lot more specific, right?  We're setting parameters.  This should be the first step in your endeavor of finding love.  

Now that you know what you want (or I hope you figured out what you want), let's talk about the task of getting yourself out there and meeting the people you want to meet!  I have a very simple advice that my dad taught me way back in the days:  "Go where the fish is".  What does this mean?  It's very simple, if you go fishing if you want to catch tuna, you go to the water where the tunas are, if you want to catch salmon, you go where the salmon is.  So if you want to meet a decent guy, go to church, a Buddhist temple, in other words, go where the fish is.  For example, for you professional women, if you want to meet professional men, go where they hang out, and for the guys that want to meet hot chicks, go where the hot chicks are (clubs or groups), when I say clubs I'm not talking night clubs, I'm talking the baking club or sewing club or underwater basket weaving club!!!  Now, here's another thing to keep in mind.  Go where the ratio is advantageous to you.  If you go to a certain club and if you're a woman, go to a club where there are a lot more men than women and for the men, vice versa.  Let's look at a cycling club and a photography club for example, these are mostly couples, so I don't recommend joining this club.  For men, if you want to meet hot chicks, join a salsa (dancing) club, higher ratio of women to men (5 to 1), for the women, join an outdoor sports club, where the men outnumber women (about 10 to 1).  And if you're a professional woman, you need a good job to participate in outdoor sports to finance that hobby, so you killed three birds with one stone because they most likely have good jobs, since it's a sports club, they're in relatively good shape and you have a lot of choices.  Now you know!  Since you're equipped with the knowledge and wisdom I passed down to you, get yourself out there!!!

This is the most important advice I have to give you!  DON'T LISTEN TO THE HATERS!  Who are the haters?  The haters can be your friends, your parents, or co-workers, etc.  I hear the questions now, but why would my friends or family members be haters?  Very simple, let's address the ladies first, you and your best friend don't have a boyfriend, you get a boyfriend and you're happy, she's upset and jealous now because you got somebody and she doesn't.  She will criticize everything about him and why you shouldn't be with him and same for the fellas.  Don't listen to them, they want you to share in their misery of not having a man/woman!!!  And do not listen to the no man/woman having EXPERTS!  These are the people that don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, yet they're relationship experts!  If they're such an expert, why don't they have a boyfriend/girlfriend?  Finally, do not listen to serial relationship people, these are the people that have a man/woman, it doesn't work out so they go to the next relationship, if they know so much why can't they be in one relationship?  Listen to the people who were married for over 20 years, not the person who divorced 3 times.

Finally, you may ask me, who are you to give this kind of advice.  You're right, you don't have to follow my advice, but these are the advice that many people gave in the past, I just simplified it for you and I, myself followed my own advice.  When I came to Korea 9 years ago, I told myself I want a woman with a strong work ethic, someone who'll support me through thick and thin, someone who will love me unconditionally, etc.  9 years later we're still together.  At the end of the day, there's no such thing as the perfect person, but there is the perfect person for you!  So, keep hoping and you'll find the perfect person for you.

When it comes to Asians, I don't know any names or any organizational names.  No disrespect to the brothas or Latinos or women or gays, but y'all need a spokesperson more than we do.  A community organizer or leader is needed when there are problems within said communities.  Asians as a whole are doing all right from what I'm seeing.  The brothas & sistas need community leaders to bring them up from the hood, y'all have decades of institutional racism, here's a clip from the documentary Freakonomics:

Perhaps racism is down per se.  Perhaps we live in a society of categoricalism (Trademark by Joon Kang, LOL), meaning the stereotype of the black dude is a rapper, athlete, or drug dealer, so if he doesn't fit into that stereotypical category, he will not be accepted.  Thus the need for the community leaders to show y'all in a different light to the world.

As for Asians, any time some idiot does something stupid or horrendous, or there are some issues within the race, some "self-proclaimed" community leader gets interviewed.  My questions are the following, "Who the hell elected you?", "What the hell have you done?", "How many college scholarships did you provide for poor Asian families?", "How many high risk Asian kids did you steer away from trouble?"  If you can't answer any of these questions, don't speak for me!!!

The Asians for the most part are doing all right.  They are the most well-to-do amongst the immigration population.  So, Asians in general don't need a community leader, a spokesperson, what they need are just role models or mentors on an individual level.  Because there's such an emphasis on family values and education, where it's actually practiced don't try to create a need for something where there's no need!

But I really want to address this on a person by person basis level.  Because these people do more damage to our image far worse than these pompous, self appointed jerkoffs.  At least those people have some media savvy not to say stupid shit and tries to represent us in a semi decent light unlike Amy Tan.

What I really hate are the following:

1. Those who say all Korean people are...These are the people who tell everybody, all Korean people are this way, that way, hate this, hate that.  All Korean men are like this, like that, all Korean women are like this, like that.  Who the hell made you the authority on ME?

2. Everything about Korea sucks douchebags:  These are the people who tell foreigners we suck as a people, our country sucks as a whole as a country, etc.   FYI:  Just because the people around you sucked and your life experience sucked, don't put me in that box.  Plus if everybody you meet sucks, this really says more about you than the people around you.  My suggestion, take a good, hard look in the mirror if that's the case.  Because no matter where you go, you take your sorry ass with you.

3. The apologists:  These are the people, when there's a debate, for example, I'll talk about how the Americas had slavery, these douchebags will say, Korea had slavery in their history.  Why do they do this?  They want to be on the same level or what?  Are they trying to gain sympathy?  Here's a history lesson, there was slavery throughout history, most of the time it was through the spoils of war.  And there was a clear message, once a slave always a slave.  Whereas in the Americas, slavery was solely based on skin color.  Back in the days, there was the indentured servant program, if they fulfilled the 7 year contract, they were promised land after fulfillment of the contract.  A lot of them ran away, seeing how hard the work was.  Since they were white, they were able to blend into the crowd.  As a solution to this, they decided to make slaves out of Africans so they can't blend in the crowd.  Another atrocity committed by the slave masters, they changed the law so they can rape the women.  Common Law stated any child of a Brit would be a citizen of England, they added a little clause "except for children born from slaves."  So the next time you come up with your dumb ass answers, know something first, know what the hell you're talking about.  And people say I'm arrogant because most of the time I'm the smartest guy in the room.

4. Kissing a person's ass, just because they're white.  These are the biggest douchebags and jerkoffs.  These assholes are the biggest racists, even against their own people!!!  They make Uncle Ruckus from "The Boondocks" look like MLK, Jr.  Most of the time they kiss sorry ass English teachers' asses.  FYI 99.9999999999999999999999999999% of English teachers are here because they can't make the same money they can make back where they're from.  Yet, these douchebags are the biggest ingrates, instead of thanking the country for allowing them to make a livelihood, they complain and bitch about the people and the country!  But I digress.  These same people whose ass you're kissing don't like you, plus they're viewed as "trash" where they're from.  Here's an example, I have a friend who was here because his company sent him here, an English teacher introduced me, later I asked him if he kept in touch with the English teacher, the answer was NO.  I had another friend who was a consultant to the KBL (Korea Basketball League) and his question in regards to English teachers, "Why are there so many fucking white trash in this country?"  I digress again.

When you add these 4 elements together, you wonder why I'm always angry?  So the next time you want to speak on my behalf or Korean people's behalf, do me a favor and shut the hell up.